What does a marriage made in Heaven and lived out on Earth look like?
A wife is to fit her life into her husband’s life like a hand fitting inside a glove—become one with Him. All of that is after the Bible says, “Husbands love your wives.” It’s the very first principle—a husband in marriage is to love his wife and become one with her. And when that happens, you experience that oneness of marriage and the mystery begins to unfold. As you live your marriage in oneness, it becomes a beautiful mystery.
First of all, marriage is a spiritual thing. The person who created marriage was spiritual. Marriage has a spiritual foundation. It can only be fulfilling when it comes from a spiritual standpoint. Thus, spirit-soul-body not, body-soul-spirit.
You need a spiritual relationship first, then you develop the soulical connection after, then the body connection follows. God said in Genesis—”the two shall become one flesh.” They were naked and not ashamed. The word “flesh” there does not refer to the “body” only, it refers to the whole person—spirit, soul, and body. They were naked in their soul; they were open with each other in their marriage. There was nothing they didn’t know about the other. The more you know each other before you get married, the better chance you have of developing a great marriage of oneness.
And the mystery that Paul speaks of...the mystery of Christ and His church...you will never understand as a human the love that Christ had for the church. He was willing to suffer, bleed, die. But, Paul said, if a husband loves his wife like that and he’s actually willing to put to death and sacrifice for her, then she will be the best she can be (which is what Jesus did for the church—-He died to equip the church, He died to empower the church). So as a husband, you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself to empower your wife. And while you’re doing this, you are loving her, and she’s responding to that love because she is getting something that she can’t get from any place else. She is being fulfilled and that love then returns back to her husband, and he too feels fulfilled.
My request to you: Get up every day and choose to be in love with the person you are married to. Do something that shows love to your spouse. Marriage isn’t something you do once a month—it’s every day. Love your spouse intentionally, and you will see the difference in the quality of your marriage and the oneness that is being developed. I promise--you WILL love the result!
Ephesians 5:25-33 (AMP
Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members (parts) of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined [and be faithfully devoted] to his wife, and the two shall become]one flesh. This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].