Individually it takes a long time to become. Likewise, marriage takes a long time to become. Every marriage is enhanced when the husband and wife spend time together discussing how they want it to look and where they want it to go. A great marriage is created on purpose by two people committed to filling their life together with loving behaviors that lend to deep and lasting feelings of love.
On their wedding day, a man and woman stand up publicly and profess a life-long commitment to one another. Often they possess no clue as to how that commitment is to be lived out on a day-to-day basis.
Most ordinary marriages operate on unspoken assumptions about how married life should be. Creating a shared vision of marriage isn’t like trying to learn to ride a bike which you do once. It’s more like pedaling the bike. The vision changes as the couple grows older, but it remains a mutually determined map for a committed, intimate, passionate, and spiritual life together.
A marriage is like a garden – give it time and attention and the seeds will grow strong and produce much fruit. Every married couple should have at least a one-hour session each week devoted to the marriage. In your first meeting, brainstorm about all the areas you want to vision together. A great vision is powerless to help you create the marriage you both want if it isn’t translated into action.
We must live as if relationships with God and loved ones are the most important things in life and consistently pursue excellence in them. An important part of keeping a marriage full of life is learning how to honor your dreams, my dreams and our dreams. Healthy people, married or not, pursue dreams that give their individual journeys to God depth and purpose.